


Wiccy What?

by explodingmrpond



Series: The Art of Bathing: Steve's Adventures in Lush [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Explicit sexual scenes, Lush, M/M, Smut, post-serum Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:13:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingmrpond/pseuds/explodingmrpond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PART ONE: Steve is an artist, working part time in Lush to be able to get by. On his first day, a man with a prosthetic arm comes into the shop, hoping to get something to alleviate the aches in his bones. When Steve took this job he expected free samples and soft hands, not an immediate crush on his first customer and sarcastic comments from his friends. Luckily, Bucky's pain isn't an easy one to get rid of so he has to make repeated trips to Lush to get what he needs.</p><p>PART TWO: Steve and Bucky return from their trip to Paris to something curious growing in their shower. Bucky swears up and down it's not his fault, however, the real culprit may be lurking in Steve's way-too-large jar of Lush products. </p><p>Part Two of The Art of Bathing series. Inspired by an article creeping around the news lately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wiccy What?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsblueandboxy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsblueandboxy/gifts).



> This story is inspired by THIS popping up in the news recently: http://metro.co.uk/2016/03/18/plants-are-growing-in-lush-customers-showers-because-of-this-massage-bar-5761385/
> 
>  
> 
> As always, this is for Niamh.

“What the fuck?” Steve Rogers, wrapped in a fluffy towel, hissed as he stepped one foot into the shower cubicle. He had a foot delicately placed in the middle of the tiled floor, a grimace on his face as he surveyed the sight before him. “That’s so gross. And weird.” Steve clutched at his towel and backed away from the shower, opting instead to jump in Clint’s shower while he was away – he surely wouldn’t mind when he saw the state of Steve’s bathroom. 

Steve vowed to get to the bottom of this mess, but first of all: he had work. He washed as quickly as he could without the large amount of Lush products slowing him down (sure, he’d gifted Clint a fair few but there wasn’t nearly as much in his bathroom as there was in Steve’s). He managed to wash quickly, regretting his decision to not pick up his Big tub on the way in. Sighing, he rinsed out the two in one shampoo/conditioner disaster and jumped out, pulled on his uniform and dashed out the door, barely managing a goodbye to a bed-ridden Bucky. (Oh no, he wasn’t ill. Just so, so jetlagged.) 

Work wasn’t actually that busy for a Saturday – which again, was weird, the second weirdest thing today. There were a few customers that lifted Steve’s mood, despite knowing he was going to need to go home to that mess in the shower. Plus, him and Bucky had just returned from a few weeks away in Paris, and his keeping hours were all shifted about and he honesty had no idea whether it was AM or PM anymore. There was a new product in though which would surely revitalise him and Bucky, an aptly named product Razzle Dazzle – which Steve was going to snag a few to chuck into the brand new bath he and Bucky would soon be getting installed. The older one was this ugly, metallic thing that had been in the building when Tony had occupied it, and he thought it was "charming". No. 

Steve unfortunately had signed up for a full day - having splashed too much cash on the trip to Paris – but he was wishing he hadn't when the customers crept in slower than usual, the conversation wasn’t nearly as stimulating, and Wanda wasn’t working the same shift as him. He sighed as 8pm rolled around and he was stuck on clean up duty, though he wasn’t sure he had the willpower to count tills and make conversation with their supervisor, Phil. He was honestly exhausted, he could feel the energy sapping out of him as he dragged the mop across the floor, his eyes starting to flutter closed and the bath bombs steadily moving closer and closer to his face - 

"Steve!" Peggy shouted, knocking him upright and practically out of his skin. "You were just about to fall face first into that display I spent all day finishing – go home, get some rest, and for god's sake grab some coffee on your way out." Peggy stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at him, though the smear of bubble bar across her chest was kind of taking away from the stern expression. She held her hand out, demanding the mop, and Steve slunk away to the back to grab his things. One thing he didn’t want to do was get on Peggy's nerves – she could take him down in a single look. Steve slunk out the back, ignoring the command to get coffee – he just wanted to sleep. He left without disturbing any other products on the shop floor, hopping on his bike and speeding away. 

It was dark; the cold Spring months were drawing in and making the mornings brighter, but the nights worse. Steve huddled under his many layers of leather, revving the engine when he got stuck at traffic lights, patting his pockets to make sure he kept the Razzle Dazzle and a special little something for the shower safe. Secured, he raced home and punched the buttons to the elevator a little more viciously than usual, foregoing the idea of dropping into see his friends before sleeping. He couldn’t stress this point enough: he really needed sleep. 

However, it seemed to be that sleep wasn’t something Steve was going to easily get. He burst into the flat, twirling his keys, shedding his jacket – only to be met by all of his friends, gathered outside his bedroom door, arms crossed and arguing with one another. Steve repressed a groan. 

"No, I swear, I haven't been planting anything in the shower! Why would I do that?!" Bucky ground out, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.  
"Well, I'm just saying, things don’t just grow out of the shower. Everything is sealed! I built this place myself – no cracks, no mould, nothing should be growing out of that shower!" Tony rapped back, folding his arms defiantly. 

That's when they all noticed Steve. 

Bucky jumped in first. "Steve! Please tell Tony I haven't been secretly growing plants – let alone the plants he thinks I'm growing – in the goddamn shower!" Everyone turned to look at Steve, eyebrows raised like the had all the answers to the question. 

He didn’t. "I am going to bed. Excuse me." Steve brushed past them, barely scraping by Sam who was trying to block his way with his chest. Everyone groaned, rolling their eyes at Grandpa Steve who honestly just wanted a fluffy blanket and a mug of hot chocolate right now. Bucky smiled then, smugly, patting Steve on the back as he passed and ushering everyone to the door, locking it behind Tony – although he knew Tony could unlock it whenever he wanted. 

When Bucky returned to the bedroom, Steve was flat out on the bed, face first into a pile of pillows.  
"Ah Stevie, hard day at work?" Bucky asked, leaning against the door frame of the bedroom, inspecting his nails.  
Steve grunted.  
"I had a lovely day sleeping. To be honest, I slept all day. Jet lag is a bitch -" He sauntered over to where Steve lay, flesh-and-bone hand grazing lightly up the bedsheets by Steve's side. "- Andddd now I'm wide awake. Which is possible, because I got up maybe two hours ago." 

Steve turned his face to the side, puffing out the air in his chest in Bucky's general direction. "Lucky you. I feel like my eyeballs are made of sandpaper." He puckered his lips and Bucky dipped down to kiss them, kissing his forehead on the way back up. 

They were silent for a moment, Steve's eyes falling shut and his breathing slowing as Bucky stroked his back in circles with his prosthetic hand, the other balancing himself on the bed.  
Bucky started, "so... about the shower?" His face pulled, smirking as Steve flew up from his position, rolling over onto his back and rubbing his hands on his face. 

"I have no fucking idea. Was it a dream? When I saw it this morning I thought it was a dream." Steve rolled to his side, glaring at Bucky. "You haven't deliberately been growing things in our bathroom, have you?"  
Bucky feigned shock. "Of all the people to ask me that today, I didn’t think it would be you, Stephen Grant Rogers!" He huffed a laugh, sliding his body down the bed so they lay in tandem. "I have absolutely no idea where they came from. They're everywhere!" 

Steve whined, rolling over onto his back and staring up at their ceiling. "I cannot believe we go away for a few weeks and come back to a jungle in the shower. I have no idea where it came from or what happened, but I am not looking forward to spending time pulling out plants from my drain."  
"Yeah but, we don't really need to pull them out." Bucky mused, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. "They're not gross at all, and obviously they're clean. And I like them. Make the bathroom more... Earthy." Bucky shot Steve a grin that could melt ice. "And you and your Lush products are so into being "earthy" I really didn’t think you'd mind." 

Remembering Lush, Steve slipped off the bed and crawled to where he'd dumped his jacket, digging around for the Twilight shower gel he'd managed to snag and pulling it out, presenting it to Bucky. "I got this to help us sleep, but I guess we won't be needing it now. But there is no way I am taking a shower in there."  
"It's just some cute plants Steve, they won't bite. What is it?"  
Steve explained, "Twilight shower gel; unavailable anymore." He smirked. He had sweet talked a lot of people into getting this to take home. And now he got to use it all by himself. 

Bucky smirked, laying back on the bed, his arms propping him up. It was just then that Steve noticed he'd never bothered to change out of his sleepwear, and was looking exceptionally good in the old, worn camo t-shirt and a pair of running shorts. If Bucky noticed Steve's staring, he didn’t say anything. But he did recline a little further back onto the bed, lick his lips a touch longer than necessary, and readjust his arms so that his biceps bulged in a delightfully distracting way. 

Steve cleared his throat, his eyes suddenly not burning anymore.  
"I suppose I can brave the shower. I'm feeling kind of sweaty after being in the shop all day. Peg had the heat turned up all the way, we had to keep regularly restocking the ice around the facemasks."  
Bucky rolled his eyes, tilting his head back so his neck was fully exposed. "God Steve, tell me again about how it's so difficult to keep the facemasks cool."  
"Well, I mean actually," he paused, coming to stand up, the gel in his hand. "You were being sarcastic." He flat lined. 

Bucky chuckled, sidling toward Steve and wrapping his arms around his waist. "No Steve, I love when you talk about what you love. But right now, I know you just need a shower, a massage and for me to tuck you up into bed." He planted a kiss on the edge of Steve's jaw, just where he could reach when he stood up on his tip toes. 

Steve mumbled something Bucky couldn't quite hear, but it sounded something along the lines of there being less tucking, more something else that made Bucky blush. "Shower, Steve. The mix of all those scents is giving me a headache." 

Reluctantly, Steve let himself be pushed along to their shower, trying not to grimace at the plants sprouting from his drain. He wanted rid of them, and had no idea whether they'd even survive the amount of stuff that would get washed down between them, but if they died of natural causes... That's not really something Bucky can blame him for. 

Steve let Bucky turn on the hot water, nudge him gently inside the shower, and hand him his Prince Charming body wash, Bucky's favourite smell on him. Steve groped around for his new stuff, but Bucky shoved it out of reach, stepping behind him into the shower, pressing his body against Steve's back. Steve sighed, content washing over him as Bucky began to rub his muscles with his hands, his nimble fingers working deep into the tissue, his metal arm giving just the right amount of pressure for Steve to ease up. 

Sighing, Steve rested his forehead against the glass shower door, nudging his feet forward as he felt the presence against his back gone. With his eyes closed, Steve couldn’t tell he was just about to step on Bucky's beloved plants until there was a SMACK and Steve's shoulder blade suddenly stung very much. 

"Steve! You almost stood on Bella!"  
"Awh Bucky, you did not adopt another cat-"  
"Bella is the plant you're about to crush between your huge feet!" Steve was manhandled out of the way, spun around so he was practically flung from the shower. Sometimes he forgot Bucky had been in the army and could do strange things like lift Steve's entire body weight as if he were a feather. 

Steve, feeling a little less relaxed than he had been a second ago, cracked his neck and folded his arms across his chest. He stared down at Bucky, caring for his plants, and couldn’t help it if he did melt a little bit. He moved himself closer, dropping his hands so he could run his fingers through Bucky's matted, wet hair, effectively tangling his fingers in a mess of knots. 

"Oww."  
"Okay, that wasn’t as romantic as I thought it would be." Steve sunk to his knees beside Bucky, pointing to the plant next to the one Bucky named Bella. "Okay, so what's this one called?"  
"Susan."  
"Any particular reason?"  
Bucky shrugged. "Feels like a Susan."  
"Right. How many are there?"  
Bucky glanced quickly over his shoulder, counting. "About, seven, eight? Maybe nine, but they’re starting to grow their roots together."  
"And you've named them all." It wasn’t a question.  
"What? Of course! You can't not name plants, Steve. They're living things just like you and me. And cats."  
Steve puffed out a breath, scoffing. "You made fun of me when I wanted to name my bike!"  
Bucky glowered at him under his dark lashes. "The bike isn't alive, Steve." 

Steve raised his hands in defeat. "Okay, I get it. The plants can stay – maybe not in the shower, but they can stay." He ground the palm of his hand into his eyes, seeing stars. His tiredness had came swooping back once there wasn’t anything else distracting him. "I just don’t understand where they'd came from. Tony's right, he sealed this place up tight."  
Steve allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and turned away, reclaiming his previous position. "Relax, Steve. They're just plants. I know what will take your mind off of them." Bucky kissed along Steve's spine, light pepperings of love that Steve moaned into. It was all well and good, until Steve felt something familiar press on his shoulder. 

It felt like pebbles, seeds, pressing on his skin and pushing deep into the muscles he needed most, a familiar sensation, but something different. It felt weird like something was missing, something Steve just couldn’t put his finger on... 

"Bucky, stop. What the hell is that?" Steve couldn’t take it anymore, shifting his neck to stare at his boyfriend.  
Bucky blinked at him. "That massage bar you got me, the one with the weird name. Wiccy Magic Muscles. It's amazing, and you seemed so tired and tense I thought it would loosen you up." Bucky's eyes looked hurt as he continued. "Sorry, I thought you'd like it."  
"Oh my god, Buck."  
"What? Look, I'm sorry..."  
"Bucky you are not supposed to use massage bars in the shower." 

Steve turned fully round, plucking the bar out of Bucky's hand and staring and it. And then he burst out laughing.  
"What? Steve, I didn’t know. It's not like there's instructions-"  
"-There's instructions on the label-"  
"And you just handed me a whole heap of stuff and whizzed through how to use them all at a hundred miles a minute and being a, lets say novice, to the world of bath products-"  
"-Shower and other products-"  
"-AND OTHER PRODUCTS, I had no idea what I was doing. W-. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" 

Steve was keeled over, clutching at his stomach like he'd been shot, holding the remains of the massage bar in his hand. "The- the seeds, Buck. This has seeds in it." He held it up to Bucky's face, showing him the bar.  
"Well there's hardly any seeds left in it – oh." 

They both glanced around at the plants surrounding them, buckling over with laughter. They clung to each other, crying, waiting until the fits of giggles subsided and they could catch their breaths.  
"Oh god, let's just get washed and get into bed." Bucky sighed, a smile still on his lips as he ducked his head underneath the water and rinsed his hair. Steve climbed out the shower, drying himself off quickly so he could shoot a message to Tony to tell him everything was sorted plant-wise. 

Finding a fresh pair of shorts, Steve slipped them on and crawled underneath the sheets, moaning at the brush of silk sheets on his skin and the softness of the bed. "I swear, this is better than sex." 

"I'll make you pay for that comment." Bucky glared at him, dripping wet and covered only by a small towel, standing in the doorway. Steve had to admit, his heart did skip a beat when he saw him. And also, something else skipped a beat. Steve peeled back the covers, revealing his clothing choice, inviting Bucky inside. 

Bucky dropped the towel, showing off his impressive hard on, stalking towards Steve and jumping into the bed. He was on top of Steve in an instant, pressing his damp hands to Steve's torso, arms, abs. His head buried in Steve's neck, he let out a groan when he felt Steve's dick respond. "You made fun of my plants," Bucky growled, nuzzling into Steve and nipping at his skin. "I'll make you pay for that, too." 

Steve gasped, rolling his head back so Bucky could have more access. "I'm counting on that." He groaned low in his throat when Bucky slid down his body, hands pressing just so, enough that Steve's body rippled and stood out in goose bumps. This tiredness thing was really having him off. "I'm honestly not sure how long I'm going to last-" A moan, a shudder as Bucky dipped his tongue along the outside of his cock in the shorts. "-I may pass out from tiredness before we've-we've even had a chance to-" 

"Shhh." Bucky was back up against his lips, pressing his lips to Steve's to get him to shut up. "I'll take care of it." Steve groaned into the kiss, opening his mouth and allowing Bucky to take control, circling his lips with his tongue, teasing him as he had done before. That was Bucky's signature move. 

Bucky held Steve, his two hands grasped to his arms, kissing the breath of out him. He slowly began to slide his hands down, Steve's arms pushing through his so he could cradle Bucky's head, and ass. When Steve gave Bucky a squeeze, Bucky knew he was a goner – he rutted their bodies together, water and sweat mingling on their bodies as they ground it out, the fabric of Steve's shorts doing delicious things for Bucky – but less so for Steve. 

Bucky pulled away, yanking Steve's shorts down as he did so, barely making it past his thighs before Bucky was taking them both in hand, using his prosthetic to pin himself above Steve, making him the taller one for once. His long hair tickled Steve's face, and Steve couldn’t hold his stare as he moaned out Bucky's name, bucking his hips up, trying to increase the friction. 

"Please, oh, Buck," Steve whimpered, tightening his hand in Bucky's hair and smirking when he got the response he wanted. Bucky smashed his lips on Steve's, biting them, dropping his body flush against Steve's and quickening the pace of his hand. 

Pausing, Bucky pulled away, grinning down at Steve as he rolled them both in his hand, mixing their cum and coating them in it, making the pressure almost unbearable for Steve. Bucky liked to watch Steve's reactions as he eyes rolled backwards, his hands falling into fists onto the bed. He had been right – he wasn’t going to last long. 

"Come on Stevie, I'll let you go soon." Bucky sped up his movements, rolling his hips down onto Steve's until Steve was meeting him up at them, fucking himself into Bucky's hand. Bucky whispered sweet nothings in Steve's ear until he came apart, howling deep in his throat until Bucky joined him over the edge, rubbing their sensitive pricks together until it was too much. 

Covered in each other, Bucky cleaned up the rapidly cooling liquid as Steve's eyes fluttered shut, murmuring to Bucky about nothing. He was fast asleep before Bucky was done returning from the bathroom; the soldier chuckled, sighed, and glanced at the bedside clock: 9.34pm. And he was wide awake. 

 

The next morning: 

Bucky was exhausted. It was pushing 11am, he had been awake for too damn long and Steve still showed no sign of waking up. He'd managed to find their cats, Winter and Aurora, when he had been wandering outside in the early hours of the morning, and he was sure Steve wouldn't mind that he'd brought home the stray that was following their cats around, mewling and skinny enough that it had brought a tear to Bucky's eye. No, he wouldn’t mind.  
Bucky was cradling the new cat when Steve woke up, and he just shrugged and smiled, saying they needed to run it past Tony first. But Bucky knew the look in his eyes – one of immediate love, and he had it when he looked at the ginger ball of fur, tiny even in Bucky's hands. 

Steve was cheerfully whistling as they hopped down the stairs, Bucky carrying the new cat to try and see if that would win Tony over – again. They didn’t bother the knock, walking in to most of their friends awake and shoving breakfast down their throats. 

"Tony?" Steve asked.  
"Bathroom," Thor replied, not taking his eyes from his bowl of Cheerios. 

Tony was primping his beard when they entered, dressed in loose sweats and a tee, fresh out the shower. "Oh hey guys. There's a real problem in the building I think, I'm going to need to call someone." He gestured over the shower, allowing Bucky and Steve to take a look, completely ignoring the cat. 

There were plants in Tony's shower. 

"For the love of God." Steve hissed, turning on his heel and storming out of the bathroom, Bucky laughing behind him. 

The FIRST thing Steve was doing when he went back to work was making posters to show the proper use of massage bars. And also, the right way of extracting aduki seeds from shower drains.


End file.
